• Crying.
• Smiling.
• Pretending.
• Lying about my feelings.
• Keeping everything to myself.
• Making things complicated.
• Smiling.
• Smiling.
• Smiling.
• Crying.
• Crying.
• Crying.

Yesterday, EJ asked me: “Bakit pag tumatanda hindi na masiyado nag popost?”

Ako: “At talagang ako ang tinanong mo ahh? Tanong mo si Rain! Haha.”

Rain: “Wala kasing laman dito e. *points to his heart*”

And then we started talking about why we aren’t so active as before.

It’s been almost 5 months since I was still “really active” here on tumblr. Well, some of you seem to have noticed it since I’m not really posting stuff that much. Na namimiss na daw nila ako, na ngayon nalang ulit nila ako nakita sa dash.

At first I never thought that I’d be able to actually do it, since I’m addicted to tumblr. Pero minsan kasi, dumadating din tayo sa point na nakakasawa na. To be honest, I was in the verge of deactivating my account and yes, never go back again. But come to think of it, I won’t be able to read my previous posts. So wag nalang. I’ve just decided to lay it all low. Tumblr already devoured me, so I need to get back on track to what’s real—the reality.

I needed to get my life back and focus more on important things.

Nakaka-walang gana na din yung mga posts na nakikita ko sa dash, parang wala ng sense kasi. I’m sorry, but that’s what I really think. And kung pansin niyo, madaming magagaling na bloggers ang hindi na rin active. Well, we have those same kind of sentiments—nakakasawa na. Specially sa mga issues dito. Paulit-ulit lang. Yung iba naman, sapilitan magpost para lang di sila mawalan ng followers. Haha. Pathetic.

Pati mga meet-ups, ayoko na puntahan. Hindi na ganon kagaya dati na parang lagi akong excited. Ngayon, wala ng thrill, depende nalang kung maganda talaga yung concept nung meet-up. Parang every month nalang may meet-up. I’m okay with just by hanging out with my group of friends here. It’s more than enough.

Hindi naman ako ipokrito para sabihin kong hindi naging malaki ang impact sakin ng tumblr. Of course it is. This is where it all started, finding some “true friends” and a few “not some true friends”, I’ll always keep that in my mind and in my heart.

Come to think of it, wala din naman akong masulat talaga, so bakit ko naman din pipilitin ang sarili kong mag blog kung wala naman talagang laman yung sa puso ko na gusto kong ilabas? Parang tanga lang naman din diba?

Well, you know what they say, “Things just come and go.”

Sometimes I really feel that I am such a worthless and useless person.

It’s funny that I’m not yet sleeping. It’s been a long and tiring and painful day for me. I’m all worn out. I just want to sleep but I can’t.

I can’t go to sleep with troubled thoughts; knowing that you’re mad at me.

I just cant.

It’s not right, it doesn’t feel right.

Sigh.

People can be so annoying. They just like to stick their noses out in everything that you do.

Family, friends, neighbors, or whoever they are.

People tell you to do things that you don’t want. They tell you things that they think that will make you happy. They tell you this and tell you that. You should do this and not that.　

Why can’t just people let you do your own thing and stop messing around with your life?

Fucktards.

When two people really care about each other, they will always look for a way to make it work, no matter how hard it is.

No ifs and no buts.

Cause when you love someone, you’ll never give up on that someone—ever.　

Minsan, sa sobrang saya mong makita yung taong mahal mong masaya, nakakalimutan mo na ata na kailangan mo din palang maging masaya.

You want people to respect you, but you can’t even respect them.

So how would you make it fair then?

Imbeciles.

So much for the word RESPECT.

This is a fucking rant.

Disclaimer: If you’re a religious person, don’t bother reading this one.

So just this evening I posted this on my twitter account:

Mga tao nga naman. Daming problema sa buhay. Lahat nalang pinapakelaman. Si Lady Gaga, Sexuality ng tao, lahat na. You people are pathetic.

And one of my classmates in college replied:

Lol! This is a Free Country si Bosing Vic na nga nagsabi! Hahaha! Lady Gaga she is a demon. PERIOD! Hahaha!

And so our convo goes on:

Me: Ohh. Free country pala ahh. Pero ayaw ng simbahan sa LGBT. So how does that even make that a free country? Enlighten me.

Him: Ano ba yun LGBT? Pano ba nasabi na ayaw ng simbahan? Dont you know ang word na simbahan ay may dalawang meaning?

Me: Look it up. They detest LGBT. Haha. I know it has two meanings. The Church itself. CBCP

Him: I dont know what is the meaning of LGBT?

Me: LesGayBiTrans.

Him: sabi nga kung marunong ka magmahal marunong rumespeto ehh mahal pa ba nila ang diyos kung ganyan?

Me: Woah there. Hindi porket ganito kami, hindi namin nirerespeto at minamahal si God. Watch your words, Art.

I don’t need to post the whole convo. I respect his opinon even though he’s somehow inconsistent. Hihi.

I told him that we need not to argue because we have our own opinions and beliefs. But I just want him to know my point.

What’s up with you people? First there’s the issue about China, and then sexuality, and now Lady Gaga? Wow. The world today is a very fucked up place.

So stop telling me that this is a free country? If it is why is LGBT not accepted by society, specially by CBCP. So how does that even make us a free country? I see.

It’s sad cause people nowadays doesn’t really know the true meaning of RESPECT.

If only you guys would know how much LGBT loves God. I love Him. I respect Him. I respect everyone’s Religion too.

So I’m sorry to tell you that your argument is invalid. :>

I think most of you guys see me as a very snobbish person; specially for those who haven’t even talked to me.

People usually think of me as a bitch. Well to be blunt, I can be a bitch sometimes, but it really depends on the situation. Well of course if you really know the real me, you wouldn’t bother asking me why do I act this way.

I may be a very frank person, true. But that’s just who I am. So if you really don’t get my attitude, then I’m sorry for you.

Just one tip tho, try to get to know me first, and I assure you that your first impression wouldn’t be the same anymore. ;)